titles of customer reviews for a baby onesie on zazzle.com
So far as I can tell, at least from a fashion perspective, there are two kinds of baby clothes:
1. The kind that is intended to make your baby look cute. This kind almost always features 8-10 buttons and/or snaps so that you can get your baby into it while giving the illusion that the baby, like, got herself dressed.
Every time you change a diaper, which is 10ish times per day, you unbutton/unsnap everything, which takes 12 hours, and then you change the diaper and rebutton/resnap, which takes a further 12 hours, and the baby looks at you like, “Is this entirely necessary? I am a baby,” which she expresses mostly via crying, and you say to her, “I know, right? But you look like a little tiny little sailor and this amuses us,” and she’s like, “Oh, so I exist to amuse you?” and you’re like, “Yeah. That’s why we made you. Duh.”
2. The kind that is essentially a cotton bag with holes for head and arms. These are called “gowns,” because they in no way resemble gowns.
These do not keep the feet warm, but boy is it easy to change a diaper. I prefer gowns.
#i miss my kids #baby clothes #tumbling things no one but me cares about #no one but i?
John Green, award-winning author, shares my views on baby clothes and also questions his grammar.
I am smiling.
It’s ‘no one but I’, by the way. If you can’t tell just remove the other party from the sentence to see if it still makes sense.
…”no one but I cares about” okay that doesn’t sound right but I’m almost positive I’m correct. What in the world.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN GREEN!
John Green turns 36 years old today. Let the party begin!
Thank you, JohnGreenMustachioed, both for the birthday wishes and for ensuring that the memory of my mustache survives.
Great. Josh Boone reblogged this. Now the director of the TFIOS movie knows about my mustache.
This is a disaster.
it’s moments like these that remind me why i love life
Sorry not sorry.
#i’m not sorry
Ok like I’ve never read The Fault In Our Stars but I see it every where on this site and I want to.
Is it any good??
Thursday afternoon at 4:50 EST, I’ll be part of a google+ hangout.
Also present will be THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES BARACK OBAMA.
I’ll be asking the President a couple questions (like for instance “OH MY GOD WHAT IS AIR?!”) and he’ll also answer some questions submitted by viewers. You can ask questions here and RSVP for the google+ livestream here.
and if so, would you recommend it?
I thought it was okay.
my question for you is what in the hell is wrong with you
oh wait you’re john green, I’ll just die now
That’s the thing about ham, it demands to be eaten.
My thoughts are hams I cannot fathom into sandwiches
I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of eating ham.
‘It’s a metaphor, see: You put the ham right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to be delicious.’
“And in that moment, I swear we are ham.”
Wait. Wrong book.
John Green, your sass is tangible.
It felt mushy.
If he sees this post it will be really awkward. Hopefully he’s too busy right now to be reading through posts he’s tagged in.
*I should stress that it was an accident. He was stage diving. I was trying to hold him up. Hands ended up places.
I remember you.